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Letter to Self -Anon A letter from a nearly 30- hopefully wiser self, to a younger and more impressionable self . . . You are an amazing person You are generous, always have being and always will be You can generally achieve what you put your mind to And you will realise you don't need to prove yourself by achieving everything People appreciate everything that you do for them; they just aren't always good at telling you You are loved, and you will always be loved There is nothing wrong with you, you are not the odd one out, and other people feel the same way Learn from mistakes instead of trying to avoid making them I know school and its issues seems really important when your there, but really it's not, the issues you worry about now will pass You actually have a normal healthy body, not too big, not too small - just right People can be very cruel, you need to learn that it is often more about them then about you No, everyone isn't looking at you, everyone isn't taking about you It's not ok to keep going back to people and relationships that hurt you. Don't stay friends with people who make you feel bad about yourself, put you down, think they are superior or use you You treat your friends with loyalty and respect and you deserve it back It is ok to talk about how you are feeling and what you are thinking; no one will abandon you Your parents are not perfect, never were and never will be. They too have made mistakes which you need to forgive them for You will realise there is much more to life then work You can't save everyone or make everyone happy You are not always right; then again you are not always wrong The majority of bad things you imagine won't happen Pain eventually goes away be it physical or emotional Eating, not eating, over eating, exercise and vomiting do not fix anything, ever Appreciate your body as it is, it's only downhill as you get older! Some friendships and relationships are not forever, and that's ok It's ok to put yourself first, if you don't, no one else will Trust your instinct; you have good intuition - listen to it People don't change just because you want them to Stop hesitating and take the opportunities that are presented to you Don't sell yourself short Hard work does pay off Don't dismiss everything just because it's not logical to you or doesn't have scientific research; some things just are You don't have to buy every book you think you should read, you often don't get to reading them You will never be able to sing, but don't give up trying its fun It is ok to have an opinion and stick by it It's ok if others don't agree with you Your body is pretty amazing it will survive everything you throw at it without too many complaints It is ok if someone doesn't like you Eat before you go out drinking and partying; take Panadol when you get home before you go to sleep! Do challenges that scare you, you never know what you're capable of until you try Most people are not thinking about how you look, they are too busy worrying about themselves What you see in the mirror and what others see is often different Accept compliments graciously, it's rude to repute them Don't go to bed after a fight without saying goodnight, even if you're going to keep up the silent treatment in the morning! You don't need the top mark, you just need to pass You don't need to avoid difficult or negative feeling, if you sit with them they will pass- they can't hurt you Thoughts are thoughts not truths Not everyone has your best interests at heart Bad moods are normal, they too pass. There doesn't always have to be a reason Silence doesn't always need to be filled Be kind to yourself A bath helps with most things; too much wine doesn't Pets always love you unconditionally People will disappoint you, sometimes it's important to forgive them and let it go, but sometimes its not Don't watch scary movies on your own Don't forget you put something in the oven Procrastination doesn't help, it still needs doing. Neither does denial or avoidance! Make an effort to be better at saving money It doesn't always need to be clean or in the right spot Cleanse and moisturise more often Ask for help when you need it It's ok to be angry; it's ok to be sad; it's ok to grieve It's ok to enjoy your own company; and to need it form time to time It's ok to just sit and be You are often happiest when with groups of friends and family Don't over commit yourself, but know people will understand when you have to cancel things It's ok to say no Sleep will help most things; time helps many things too Honesty; keep it up it Write your names in books so they come back you You don't need to keep everything! You will always have your memories - you don't need every cinema stub or card written! Don't hold grudges they only hurt you Don't buy the smaller size, you will not lose weight to fit into it and you will be uncomfortable Love you, you are perfect as you are; everybody else can see it - you just have to learn to too. |
Do Scars Every Really Heal? Following an injury to skin, muscle, tendon or ligament, fibrous tissue forms a scar as a natural process of the body to heal and repair wounds. Scars consist of a protein, collagen, which cross-links within the injured site to form a pronounced alignment in a single direction, sealing the wound. This area of scarring becomes inferior to the quality of normal collagen fibres, resulting in loss of tissue or muscular function. Treatments are wide and varied, and include dermabrasion, plastic surgery, laser treatment, steroids, vitamin replacement as well as, but not concluding, many topical remedies and experimental techniques. It is possible to treat scars quite effectively, therefore reducing the amount of functional loss. But can we treat Emotional scars? Physical pain is processed by the nervous system via a negative feedback system and the body's method of defence. But emotional pain has no automatic processing system. How do we process these thoughts, fears and subsequent irrational behaviours that can continue to harm us emotionally without an effective defence mechanism? Our body is an amazing machine; the act of repair and regeneration alone is remarkable when it comes to physical injury. How, though, do we repair the scars left from our past when in many cases we can't even pinpoint or recognise a cause or trigger? Why is our emotional pain so much more unbearable than that of physical injury, and without an automatic physiological mechanism for repair? Avoidance is a bandaid, a ?topical remedy? that will not penetrate the ?subcutaneous layer? of our emotional mind. They say ?time heals all wounds?, but this is not the case when tackling emotional wounds. Time alone simply represses those urges, ineffectively numbing the area. They will not heal on their own, they do need conscious awareness and hard work which is often considered too difficult as re-opening these wounds can be very painful. Thus the scar remains intact, with a subsequent decreased ability for the emotional mind to function effectively. Talking, counselling and challenging these thoughts are the only ways to breakdown that ?collagen cross-linking? of emotional scars, to increase the ability to function at a capacity we, as humans, are capable of. We need to re-align the ?collagen?, or our attitude towards these emotions, so that we can have a higher functional ability within our lives, to face our fears, and deal strategically with our destructive and harmful behaviours. Acceptance, reflection and validation are critical elements to the healing process. It takes so much more conscious energy, courage, faith and self-belief to work on these scars, no matter how deep and wide they may stretch. There is no easy fix, no surgery or pill will ease the pain of the wound or repair it the way a physical injury is repaired. Time and a truckload of bravery and courage to tackle the wounds, to rub salt into them and massage the area as much as we can tolerate, will encourage that healing process. Reflecting on why they developed in the beginning and how we can process that on a deep level is essential. Eventually regeneration and repair will begin to take place. We can then discover not only a better relationship with ourselves, but embark on the path to recovery, peace and potential happiness. We just have to be ready and prepared to undertake the challenge and commit to the process of recovery, or the scars will continue to debilitate us. Thankyou to the writter of this article who would prefer to reamin unknow but wanted to share with Eat Love Live. |
What I have learnt (and am still learning) from Nigella ...... Yesterday I was lucky enough to attend the Melbourne food and wine festival and see one of my favourite cooks in the flesh. I noticed in Epicure in July last year that Nigella Lawson was expected to come to Melbourne in March 2011! I set the reminders in my phone for the date of the show and the date the tickets were to be released! Nigella has being a cooking and life inspiration for me for many years - her simple, no fuss approach to food, her use of real foods and ingredients and not focusing on fat, kilojoules and salt content (is that strange for a dieitian to say?!) and her ever apparent passion for good food and a good life which spills in to her books, articles and shows. At Christmas I was actually given my first Nigella book. Yes my first! I had always watched the shows and Google recipes and just poured over the books in boarders! I was given Nigella Kitchen and relished sitting down and reading it as people would devour the much anticipated next book in the Harry Potter series. Focus on what you want, what makes you happy and stop worrying about others. I sat down and read about what Nigella's kitchen means to her. She spoke about the influence of her family and friends and particular her mother. She discussed the kitchen being her sanctuary and the heart of her home. On reflection I was able to conjure up some of my own fairly special memories based in the kitchen. From a young age my brothers and I helped mum with the cooking - or just banging on the pots and pans. My mother never did, and still doesn't follow recipes . She cooks with what is available and what seems and innate endless list of recipes but may of just being auto pilot when cooking the family meal as she was so busy looking after us, running a business, studying, sowing, gardening, socialing, and being part of the school community. (phew!). I remember my parents throwing wonderful parties where we would clean and prepare the house and the back yard and inevitable everyone congregated and settled in the kitchen amongst the pots, pans, washing up and out family pin board - where ever important note, letter or piece of paper was pinned. I remember birthday cakes and wakes all centred around the kitchen as I grew up and realised that I to have created my homes in the same way; especially as many were open plan with the kitchen part of or overlooking the living areas. When we moved in to the home I am currently living with I was excited by the open plan of the living area and kitchen and the streams of natural light. I embraced the help of a fantastic friend on moving day that unpacked and put my kitchen together for me. As we had previously lived together - everything was just where I would of put it and would expect it to be! As I was reading Kitchen by Nigella she spoke of how she liked things to be accessible and on display. She uses her fresh herbs in place of flowers in her home and relishes in the cluttered collection of eclectic pieces that makes up her kitchen and pantry. Though this may seem like a simple idea it resonated with me in a way I didn't expect. I reflected on times of my life when I was more insecure and lacked confidence in myself and would seek approval of others -and there was many - it took me a while to learn that lesson! I realised that in setting up my home and my kitchen in the back of mind had being that nasty voice chatting away telling me that things needed to be sparse and tidy and things packed away out of sight. That people would think it was messy if I had things on the counter. That it something didn't match the theme of the room it needed to go away in a cupboard somewhere no matter the sentimental value to me. I was still doing it - even now; in my home rather than how I dressed, how I looked, what I said, or my opinions! That same day I looked at my kitchen, reflected on what I had being reading and did a little reshuffling. I arranged the photos on the fridge with their classing colours and smiled at the memories they bought up. I opened the famously chaotic 2nd drawer with all the cooking utensils and hung some on the hooks above the bench, I arranged the small ones (that always get lost at the bottom of the drawer and there for never used!) in empty glass coffee containers I had being collected. I arranged my spice jars on displace. I arranged a bookcase to the side of the kitchen and popped out the canisters, beautiful preserve jars and collection of cook book and other beautiful odds and ends. I stepped back and looked at my kitchen that may look cluttered to some but realised it gave me a sense of joy and warmth. I wanted to go in there and potter and cook and create. I was inspired. I found that when I was cooking it was easier having things in reaching distance and I enjoyed myself even more while preparing food. Be Nice to your self Listening to Nigella's hypnotic voice is blissful is even more engaging live then on television. Some of the things that Nigella spoke about that resonated with me were about trying to go easier on our selves. Nigella spoke of her approach to food being about sharing her passion, experience and shortcuts. Nigella talked of enjoying cooking but recognising that for many of us time is not of the essence and that it is ok to use the quick and easy shortcuts that their area; stock concentrate, frozen vegetables etc. ? There are enough challenges in life as it is - why do you need to challenge yourself more?. Another great lesson Nigella shared was to be aware of when we put ourselves down and to stop this. How often have we all said ?sorry its overcooked? or ?it's not very good or as good as you would make it?. Or an excellent example as we travelled to get to convention centre? sorry the car is a mess blah blah blah?. I wonder if we put ourselves down as a protective mechanism as we are so worried about what they might be thinking! As I have often said to clients and remind my self - - people most likely won't notice your perceived flaw unless you point it out ; and often people are too busy worrying about themselves and what others are thinking of them to notice! Follow your Passions Nigella came to the stage as the crowd cheered- it really was a very exciting moment! And the first thing she spoke about was that she didn't feel qualified to be giving a master class, that she isn't trained in anything and she doesn't consider herself an expert. Nigella is passionate about food. She loves flavours, aromas and the nostalgic memories it can stimulate. When asked why she and others with no professional training are so successful - she put it down to passion. And I believe she is right. If we are lucky enough to find that thing in life that we are passionate about, that we can talk about read about, think about and can incorporate it in to a career- then it doesn't feel like a job at all- just a special hobby that helps pays the bills. When people are doing what they are passionate about they are genuine and engaging. If you aren't able to incorporate one of your passions in to your working life then it is important to have allocated time each day or week to indulge in your passion so the positive feelings flow into the rest of your life. Have a good relationship with food Nigella is so passionate about food that you can't help but become infected with her excitement. Nigella focuses on taste, texture, aroma and pleasure. She avoids using morally driven language such as good and bad foods. She ta time makes reference to her use of high fats, salt and sugar in cooking; but doesn't apologise for this. In the ever increasing hysteria of obesity, weight, and health; it is lovely to have the simply messages conveyed. We have being eating foods for millions of years, and we worked out what to eat long before there was science, medicine and dietitians. The diet and food industry is so clever at stimulating the emotional relationship we all have with our bodies and food in a negative way that in Australia alone we are spending over $60 billion dollars a year. (As I always say - if diets worked there would be one, and you wouldn't need a life time membership!) Using real, natural, whole foods and not buying in to the hysteria of irrational food myths (my favourite current one is 'don't eat fruit it contains sugar and will cause weight gain'!) actually helps people to reconnect with taste, texture, aroma and pleasure of food. This focus on the attributes' of foods often helps us connect with our bodies better - noticing hunger, enjoying and recognising that place where we have had enough- not stopping just because the plate is empty! My experience has being this disconnect between our physical hunger and satiety and what we actually eat is a large part of nutritional and weight concerns'. And no; I am not advocating over indulging in butters and oils - but balance and moderation is a key topic to be explored- but that is another article! Be Your Self Nigella has not always received positive press; there is many remarks made about her sensuality with food and that this 'food porn' is created to drive ratings and sales. Nigellas response to that is that she is just being herself. From an interview with The Age: ?.... Lawson says that she can't control how people perceive her and that ''it's wrong to get into a state about it''. She says the suggestion that the way she presents herself in front of the television is carefully thought about is simply false. ''I don't construct a personality, but I certainly think the personality that is ascribed to me is not my personality,'' she says. ''That's a projection of other people, but also to do with the particular, strange force television has.'' Her trademark lascivious tone, for example, is unintentional. ''When I am talking to camera I mean, I love my crew and I have had them forever so I am very very close to them I know that I am quite an intense person and I know that I am being quite intimate. To me, I am not being remotely coquettish.'' Men and their egos are often the source of this misinterpretation, she suggests. ''One of the things I find quite endearing about men is that they do seem to have a certain sort of confidence and they sort of think anyone is flirting with them.'' ? Don't focus on weight and shape Nigella is a beautiful woman and even more amazing in the flesh. Nigella rarely engages in conversation with the press about weight, shape, style dieting etc. Though there is at time comments about her! Nigella is a woman who doesn't conform to the pressures to be stick thin and fit the celebrity mould. She has beautiful curves and she always wears simply cut clothes that caress them. She doesn't hide in shapeless dresses but appears to accept her body and play up her assets. She doesn't appear to be trend orientated but has a style of her own which she sticks too. What a wonderful example. Seeing Nigella is press, on television and now in person helps me to accept and relish my own curves, my own sense of style and me as I; am flaws, passion and all. And yes; thought I support many clients and friends and write about these things, I am human and I do live in this very influential social cultural context where there is pressure to look right, act right, achieve everything and conform to standards. So moving forward Nigella will continue to be my 'girl crush' as she inspires me to focus on myself, my goals and my passions and not to apologise for this |
| Im feeling torn. The past few weeks I have being busy but aware of the influx of Portia Derosi and her story in the media - it has being hard to avoid! Often when people talk about eating disorders in the media I am drawn to listern but usually end up angry - and this was no exception. I was doing my best to avoid reading any of the articles, as I usually do when it is a celebrity tell all; when a friends comments in regards to Who's reporting made me look a little closer. She commented how graphic the article was in describing Portia's eating disorder behaviors' including numbers about calories, weight exercise etc. Now as this friend works in the finance industry the article had had its desired shock effect (but even she was aware that it didn't seem right to have so much detail). I see eating and exercise behaviors' as a symptoms of the eating disorder and something that needs addressing but I'm never shocked by them- as they are just that - a symptom of how strong some ones eating disorder is. Over the next few days I was more attentive to the press and read a few articles for my self - and was upset as I read exerts of her new book that sounds like an ED how too manual. And this is where I get torn. Eating disorders are a Mental Illness, and like all mental illness they are poorly understood and because of this can be perceived to have a stigma attached. Often people who are in need of support feel misunderstood, judged and ashamed when they speak with family, friends and some professionals. As such I am glad when there is information available that gives an insight in to eating disorders - and yes it being a celebrity talking about it make it much more sexy and news worthy! But on the other hand- we don't report on suicide, especially in detail as it is proven to induce copycat behavior; so why are we publishing detailed accounts of avoidant and compensative eating disorder behaviors'?? The reason I am often infuriated by the reporting of eating disorders in the media is that they have as many how-too tips as Pro Ana websites. This not only gives people who are already suffering more behaviors' to try; or as we know eating disorders are competitive so it can create feelings they are not good enough at having an eating disorder! But it can trigger people to start questioning their currently healthy attitudes towards eating and activity. No a newspaper article will not cause an eating disorder but it can be a contributing factor and or a trigger in someone who is predisposed. Yet, as Mia Freedman said in her review? I came to understand through the book [was} that anorexia - or any eating disorder - is a lonely, isolating, life-sucking thing that doesn't leave room for anything else.? So yes the book and associated press provided an educational opportunity for the public but I wonder at which cost? Previously when working with media providing quotes for articles or supporting recovered people to be interviewed I have quickly being dismissed as a information source when I refuse to supply or support the use of before and after photos or discuss calories, grams or kilograms. But then a feel good stories focusing on positive recovery and the struggle that is involved is not very marketable! I can't comment directly on Portia's book as I haven't had a chance to buy and read it but I can say that the press surrounding it was unhelpful and focused on the specifics of her ED rather than her amazing journey to recovery and the triumphs that this involved. I am glad to see the wonderful positive blogs and books that are available which are invaluable for supporting other in their recoveries and hope that continued work in educating the media about positive reporting and education the public about mental health will help to limit such unhelpful articles. |
| The Beauty Myth 20 years on - have we progressed? Many Women can remember the first time they read the Beauty Myth. 20 years ago when it was first published it was a revelation, a shock, a new voice or a freedom. Naomi Wolf, 20 years on, remains a leader in advocating for feminist causes and progressive politics.
Wolf writes that women should have "the choice to do whatever we want with our faces and bodies without being punished by an ideology that is using attitudes, economic pressure, and even legal judgments regarding women's appearance to undermine us psychologically and politically". She argues that women were under assault by the "beauty myth" (often referring to the the 'ideals' imposed on women as the ?iron- Maiden? ); in five areas: work, religion, sex, violence, and hunger. Ultimately, Wolf argues for a relaxation of normative standards of beauty. Wolf comments on the previous waves of feminism and where they have left us as women: The more legal and material hindrances women have broken through, the more strictly and heavily and cruelly images of female beauty have come to weigh upon us... [D]uring the past decade, women breached the power structure; meanwhile, eating disorders rose exponentially and cosmetic surgery became the fastest-growing specialty... [P]ornography became the main media category, ahead of legitimate films and records combined, and thirty-three thousand American women told researchers that they would rather lose ten to fifteen pounds than achieve any other goal...More women have more money and power and scope and legal recognition than we have ever had before; but in terms of how we feel about ourselves physically, we may actually be worse off than our unliberated grandmothers. (The Beauty Myth). Earlier this month Naomi was in Australia to celebrate the 20 year anniversary of her incredibly book and unfortunately I missed out on hearing her speak! (If anyone would like to write a commentary do let me know!). Of course as happens with media tours - there was a spike of articles in print and radio media. One of the most interesting I read was the cover article of the Sunday life Magazine; written by Emily Maguire. Naomi reflected on the shift in our culture to accepting and encouraging women to question and challenge the ideals. "When I wrote The Beauty Myth, it was considered almost taboo to question the ideal. The assumption was that there must be something wrong with you: you don't measure up, you're a dissatisfied shrew. But now it's normative. We have girl scouts learning to question the ideal of beauty and Hollywood stars giving interviews about loving your body." Just as we have grown so has the beauty industry. Understanding that the images they see are manipulated by technology and that the messages they hear are designed to make them buy stuff hasn't lessened women's desire to conform to those images. Meanwhile, you only need to glance at the spread of glossy magazines in your local newsagent - with every cover model an airbrushed echo of the woman who originally posed for the picture - to see that the beauty ideal has become narrower. "It's a whole new mutation," says Wolf. "When I wrote the book, fashion models were the thing, but now fashion models don't seem to be that important in terms of the beauty myth. It's more starlets and Hollywood." Wolf attributes the change to "the democratisation of the luxury industry ... The luxury brands began to see a giant market in ordinary people, young girls especially, so they joined forces with Hollywood and made brand-placement deals with these ingenues. I think that as a consequence these starlets have had to turn up the volume, get smaller and smaller, get more and more surgery, because they're part of the brand and they need to lure new people." Naomi focus' on the analysis of pornography and its contribution to the developing generations expectations of sexuality and sex (a whole different topic!). They beauty myth helped generations of women to question the media images presented to us. Yet as we come to understand more there is more development in 'the ideal'; the iron maiden becomes narrower and narrower of what is accepted as desirable. It is fantastic that Naomi is still championing the message of questioning what is projected as normal to us for many generations to come. To some extent the there must be some acceptance as we observe the shift in the print media at least. The past few months has seen make up free celebrities inWho, Crystal Wren - in everything, and even a body friendly issue of Shop till you drop. Maybe eventually we will even stop talking about how there is the use of plus sized (yes we all know they are normal sized!) models and a greater range of clothing size - because the normal range of natural shapes and sizes will be included as the norm. |
VOLUNTARY INDUSTRY CODE OF CONDUCT ON BODY IMAGE Well there has being a big development this week which I haven't had a chance to write about - but have being reading articles from all over the world about it! On Sunday (a good day for political launches as there isn't much other news!) MP for Youth the Honorable Kate Ellis announced the federal government's formal response to the National Body Image Advisory Group's report submitted earlier this year. The federal government is supporting the VOLUNTARY INDUSTRY CODE OF CONDUCT ON BODY IMAGE and encouraging organization to sign up. Do note a lot of the media, especially the international press, since Sundays launch has sensationalized (who? The media? No?!) the message and reported that there has being a new Law bought in. This is a voluntary code which organizations can choose to follow! The Australian Government has accepted the recommendation of the Advisory Group to implement The Code. The Code challenges the media, advertising and fashion industries to do the right thing by young people. It is an important call to action for all professionals in these fields to take further steps on this crucial issue. The Code provides clear guiding principles and goals. Key decision-makers in these industries are urged to be open and innovative in considering how the Code's principles can be integrated into their business practices. It is time to move beyond a 'business as usual' approach and take concrete steps to embed the principles of the Code in the way these industries do business. In support of the Code, the Australian Government will be establishing a new Body Image Friendly awards scheme.
Awards will be given to industry organisations who can demonstrate meaningful and ongoing integration of the principles in the Code into their ongoing business. The body image friendly awards scheme will focus on initiatives targeting young people and will include two main categories. The first category will recognise organizations which demonstrate a meaningful and ongoing integration of body image friendly principles within their business practices and policies. The second category will recognize specific body image friendly initiatives or products, such as a campaign to increase young people's media literacy about digital retouching or a body image friendly event or magazine special. Significantly, organisations who are recognised with these awards will earn the right to carry the 'Body Image Friendly' symbol (see attached). Winners will be able to utilise this symbol in their marketing and promotion. ?I believe this symbol has great potential to become a point of differentiation for products being sold in the market,? Ms Ellis said. ?The symbol will be a marketing tool which acts as a signal to consumers that a particular product or brand stands for positive action on body image?. Use of this symbol will also empower consumers by allowing them to show support for industry groups or businesses that have embraced the principles of the Code. This will provide consumers, and particularly young people, with the opportunity to make positive choices to reflect their support for businesses that take serious steps to promote positive body image. The Australian Government is providing $500,000 to support a series of body image initiatives. New initiatives to build young people's resilience to negative body image pressures focus on the education environment and include: · Support for The Butterfly Foundation for a major expansion of their body image education services. Training and workshop materials covering topics like media literacy and self esteem will be developed and delivered to approximately 2,500 educators around the country - directly benefiting around 100,000 young people. · Development of a 'body image friendly school' poster and supporting materials to provide practical guidance for all schools on this issue. Education Services Australia is undertaking this project, and the Australian Government will distribute the poster to every primary and secondary school. I think we underestimate how lucky we have being in Australia at times about support from the government at all levels to support the improvement of body image, especially in young adults. (At least it isn't like Nigeria who have benched their soccer team for 2 years and thinks they should be jailed!) The Federal Governments commitment of money to programs and the support of the Voluntary Code of Conduct is a step in the right direction. In Victoria I have seen the Parliamentary enquiry into body image and eating disorders take place, support in funding of organizations like Eating Disorders Victoria and support of events such as last months Fashion that Fits Body Image Forum. At a more local level I love the Stonnington city councils support in the development and placement of education posters. The female body at its finest! Many things about the female body are related the process of being able to conceive, carry a pregnancy to term, give birth and then nourish the baby with breast milk. All in all it is a pretty amazing set of skills managed by an incredibly complex and clever body. Females have more body fat to enable hormone development and the support of a fetus in incredible circumstances. Female development through out life is based around adapting to the possibility of pregnancy. In puberty the increased fat mass, breast development and widening of the hips moves the body towards the ability to conceive and sustain a fetus. Then menopause; the shift in hormones moves the body into a different shape with more central fat deposition. Probably as a protective mechanism when in evolutionary terms the body wanted to prevent illness in latter life. But what about after the birth of a baby - what happens to the body then? If we were to believe what we see- mothers can just bounce back to their pre-baby shape with noeffort, no dramas and really problems at all. Apparently there isn't possible pelvic floor damage that prevents exercise, sleep deprivation, lack of time for cooking and shopping, the emotionally response to hormone shift (more tears and mood swings!), the swollen boobs, stretch marks, breast feeding anxiety or pressure from other to appear as a 'super' mother doing it all with ease! Yeah right! I'm not a mother myself but I have wonderful friends and clients who tell it how it is! So where does the misconceptions come from? Celebrities are paraded constantly in the media for their amazing return to pre babe shapes! Their images are splashed on the internet, in papers and magazines. So when the new mothers find some time to sit and have a flick they are confronted and self torment that they haven't miraculously returned to their pre baby body! 
Instyle's article on Hollywood's hottest mums shows beautiful women with a perfect baby bump in amazing dresses with full hair and make up! Where is the fluid retention, swollen ankles, skin breakouts and wouldn't fatigue make the ?hoo haa? of getting all dressed up a bit of drag?! Even Jennifer Hudson is giving in to the pressure to 'bounce back! (I just hope it is some really amazing underwear teamed with breast feeding weight loss- rather then restrictive dieting and excessive exercise. I have seen some very honest photos of Jools Oliver though which are a lovely reminder of what the female body does look like after giving bith! (photo sourced: mamamia.com.au) 
I guess when your body is part of your job, and there is money to spend personal trainers, chefs, full time nannies and goodness knows what else doesn't seem like such a big deal! The problem is that this sets very unrealistic expectations for new mums! Not only does the pressure to be the 'ideal' shape infiltrate childhood, adolescence, adulthood- it is pretty strong in motherhood also. Yes I am focusing on mothers today - but don't forget the impact that having a new baby in the house has on fathers as well. Sleep deprivation, provider anxiety, lack of time for usual social activities and exercise; can all impact on father's physical and mental health - when they feel that should be appearing as proud, capable fathers and maintaining a high level of work and sports! Its time we talked honestly about parent hood - and the impact on life. Mia Freeman, who has a favorite blog of mine Mamamia posted a great article last year about what real mothers bodies look like. It directed me a website - The Shape of a Mother ; where women are encouraged to post photo of their post - partum selves and discuss their experience with body image post pregnancy. It contains some beautiful photographs of women's REAL bodies - stretch marks, extra skin and all. We should be making sure that we embrace the amazing things that our body can do - instead of how we look doing it! Having children is just one of the many fabulous abilities it has . . . . Weight DOES NOT EQUAL Health! BMI; is it the be all and end all? Yes, Yes, I can hear you all crying but what about lifestyle diseases etc. I agree that when people are not mindful of their health this can lead to excessive weight gain OR loss and that being on the extreme ends of the normal weight range can increase the risk of disease. But there are plenty of people who naturally fall about or below the 'bell shaped curve' of the BMI and are perfectly healthy! The BMI is a standardized statistical measure which is very helpful when looking at large populations but fails to consider individual characteristics. BMI was developed in the late 1800's and became popular in use after a paper written by Ancel Keys was published in 1972. which found the BMI to be the best proxy for body fat percentage among ratios of weight and height (1,2). BMI was explicitly cited by Keys as being appropriate for population studies, and inappropriate for individual diagnosis. Nevertheless, due to its simplicity, it came to be widely used for individual diagnosis, despite its inappropriateness! BMI has being accepted as the normal measure of weight and health despite strong opposition from numerous medical establishments (3,4). BMI does not consider genetics, culture or body composition; hence making it inappropriate for the individual use. It would be appropriate it we were all meant to be the same size and shape!! But how boring would that be! Health is defined by WHO as physical, mental and social wellbeing (http://www.who.int/en/). There is no comment on weight in that! What we do know is that we can minimize the risk of disease by being physically active and moving our bodies; being mindful of the types of foods and volume that we eat. That doesn't mean dieting and that doesn't mean avoiding particularly foods! But as they always say - everything in moderation! Also just because you don't see changes in your body doesn't mean that your activity and positive eating is going to waste! There will be a number of important things happening in your body that you can't see but may need to measure in other ways such as vital signs,, blood results, fitness and endurance, strength, number of times you get sick in winter, skin brightness etc. As I always discussed with my clients we maintain our most natural and healthy body weight by eating when we are hungry, stopping when we have had enough and being active. Often it is the non-hungry reasons for eating and eating behavior (i.e. speed of eating) that I find myself discussing most. So make sure that any discussion about BMI you take with a grain of salt and common sense. If you do want to make changes to you health make sure you are setting health related goals - not weight ones!! ^Beyond BMI: Why doctors won't stop using an outdated measure for obesity., by Jeremy Singer-Vine, Slate.com, July 20, 2009 ^Keys, Ancel(July 1972), "Indices of relative weight and obesity.", J Chronic Dis., 1 25 (6): 329-43, PMID 4650929 ^"Do You Believe in Fairies, Unicorns, or the BMI?". Mathematical Association of America. 2009-05-01. http://www.maa.org/devlin/devlin_05_09.html. Retrieved 2009-05-22. ^"Is obesity such a big, fat threat?". Cox News Service. 2004-08-30. http://www.rockymounttelegram.com/featr/content/shared/health/stories/BMI_INDEX_0830_COX.html. Retrieved 2007-07-08.
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Barbie, is she really that bad? Barbie is a traditional toy for young girls, and popular with 2-3 Barbie's being sold every second in the Western world. In a world where body image dissatisfaction is rife and appearing in younger and younger girls (and boys) is Barbie the one to blame. There is the commonly discussed issues that if Barbie were human she would be drastically out of proportion with the average human body. She would have a BMI less the 16, be unable to menstruate and not have the strength or stability to walk or her legs- rather needs to move on all fours. So we can confirm that her body shape and size is unrealistic. But is she to blame for unrealistic expectation that women (and men) put on their own bodies; especially considering the rise of poor body image in primary aged children? Is it something that should be managed at a government level like in Saudi Arabiawhen Barbie was banned in 2003; or a choice for individual families? Does Barbie's wide range of choices of occupations and leisure activities - and ability to be able to achieve anything outweigh the poor body representation? Is it only children who are vulnerable to body image concerns that will be negatively influence by Barbie's unrealistic figure? It's a tough one - how do you evaluate such abstract concepts There is many different ways of looking at this issue. Shannon from Through thick and thinargues the direct influence of the unachievable goals that Barbie sets when she is seen as a role model. Some researchhas shown that images of the unrealistic body proportions of Barbie increases the negative self image in young girls, but more is needed to eradicate confounding actors and reinforce these findings. Deb Moore- Henecke's article, Rethinking Barbie, makes some excellent points. Barbie is here to stay so let's see what positive things she has to offer. Barbie is one of few adult dolls that allow girls to flex their imagination muscles and 'play' other roles then mothering baby dolls. Barbie is an independent woman who has the ability to follow many different career paths. She has a wide variety of leisure activities, ?all send(ing) the message that physical exertion is healthy and appropriate?. Barbie is independent and emotionally and financially. ?Ken dolls come in several outfits, but really he's just there if Barbie happens to want go on a date. She does not stand around waiting for Ken to show up, (regardless of that recent car commercial). Barbie's life is about friends, female friends. Barbie can be found doing all of the things I mentioned earlier and I admit it, even shopping, with her female pals. It's a social world in which a young woman learns to think in terms of directing her own life without waiting for a man to lean on. Barbie's female friends are more important than waiting around for Ken and that's a good lesson for young women.? I don't think that there is a clear cut answer to the questions I have posed. What we need to consider is individuals' personalities and other experience that contribute to the development of esteem and body image. We need to appreciate the complex web of influence with in out subculture about accepted norms and that it is rarely one contributing factor. And while Barbie represents an excellent opportunity for imaginary play with children and promotes the feminist messages of being able to achieve in any occupation or past time; there is room also for further development - nicely summarized by Deb Moore - Henecke. ?Barbie is here to stay. Perhaps the best thing for us to do would be to lobby Mattel to make Barbie more realistic in her measurements, fix those silly arched feet and continue to expand both the career choices for Barbie as well as her leisure activities.? 
bookofodds.com imagesjournal.com teen-beauty-tips.com/ through-thick-n-thin.blogspot.com/ timesonline.co.uk/ usatoday.com/ Sophie Dahl; Has she let us down by losing weight? Sophie Dahl, one of the original 'normal' sized models I remember is surprised by the controversy from dropping from a size 16 to a size 10. It would be hypocritical of me to criticise her based on her weight; but I can understand the sense of disappointment people are feeling. There is a such a shortage of real women represented in the celebrity media that it is a shame to think that another one has succumb to the pressure to fit it. Now, that is a lot of assuming! All I hope is that Sophie has being listening to, nourishing and trusting her body and that this is what has lead to the change in her shape. If this is the case - then good on her! I guess that only one person will know the truth about what has happened. I would like to try and set the example of focusing on her personality and achievements instead of her body - yes hard to do because commenting about body image - sometimes it does feel like I am treading a fine line of being superficial and only worried about weight, shape and appearance!! Sophie has done an amazing job of helping to wear in the (more recently used) track of the normal sized celebrity. She hasn't being part of any major scandals or sold herself to reality television (that I know of; open to correction on that one!!). She has a wonderful cook book promoting sustainable eating and engaging in the pleasure of food and a new cooking show to come soon. I am interested to see what she gets up to next . . I have one Nevenka dress that needs a new home .... I Won't be buying any more of this designers clothes!! Rosemary Masic, from womens wear label Nevenka will never make clothes bigger than a size 14 because she believes it would send an ''unhealthy'' message. ''I am very passionate about life and serious about health. It is the most important thing we have and we should respect and look after our bodies Size 16 and size 18 is not a healthy size to be.'' Passionate about Health? I don't think so this is one of the most uneducated comment I have seen in a while! Size 16 - 18 can be a perfectly healthy size because Weight and Health are not directly correlated!! Health is about social connectedness, physical fitness, mental health etc - not size! I know many amazing women who are greater then a size 14 and incredibly healthy and fit and capable of amazing things with their body - like running the marathons and triathlons or running a house hold, a full time good, kids and sometimes more!! It is such a shame that there is such naive attitudes out there! And this is only more fodder for the argument about fashion having an impact on Body Image!! It is wonderful to see that there is a movement toward larger more appropriate/ NORMAL sizes in the fashion industry. There is an in flux of new designers specializing in sizes 14 up to at least including sizes 16+ in their range. Designer Leona Edmiston is planning on selling garments up to a size 2, Sportsgirl has expanded its offering to a size 16 and the skinny jean queen Bettina Liano has even introduced a ''Curvy'' jeans in size 16. |
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