Eatlovelive.com.au, Body Image, Eating Disorders, disordered eating,

Love and Business and family and religion and art and patriotism are nothing but shadows of words when a man's starving.

O.Henry, 'Cupid a la carte', Heart of the West (1907)

Eating, Exercise and Looking After Yourself

Why is our relationship with food important?

Often we don't think about food in terms of a relationship - but we do all have a relationship with food. For some people it is a simple, unimportant relationship, one of many in their lives; a relationship which is there but doesn't take up much thought or mental energy. They have a neutral approach to food - seeing it as energy and, as a result, they eat when they are hungry, until they are full with no thoughts or feelings of guilt. Sounds idyllic doesn't it!?

Most people's relationship with food is much more complicated. There are days when things are fine and then there are days when food takes up lots of thinking time and mental energy! Eating and food choices may be influenced by thoughts and feelings on these days; there may be a lot of non hungry eating, lots of guilt associated with eating or perhaps compensatory measures taken for the food they have eaten. While non hungry eating and eating in response to cues other then hunger is appropriate in a small amount it is when it gets out of balance that things become difficult. In this situation people see food as the enemy, they no longer find eating a pleasurable experience but, instead stressful. There is so much information available about food it can be difficult to decipher the facts from the fiction making food choices stressful and laden with guilt. We are constantly bombarded with sometimes contradictory messages advising us to eat less, eat more, avoid fat, have more oily fish, eat more nuts, avoid burnt foods, avoid sugar, eat more fibre, avoid dairy, increase dairy - its enough to confuse anyone! Its no wonder people's relationship with food is affected.

All of these messages which confuse us and upset our relationship with food can lead us to getting on the dieting cycle. Where people believe that they can micro-manage their weight by restricting the total amount of food or types of foods they eat. This is sustainable to a point, that is until, we can't follow the diet rules anymore often as a result of the starvation response. In simple terms, the starvation response results as the body is designed to conserve energy and is actually working against people's efforts to lose weight. The more people restrict the more the body compensates by slowing the metabolism to conserve energy. This results in tiredness and lethargy- but can also cause the brain to start thinking about food as a way to trigger eating. People are often able to ignore this signal for a while but at some stage they will give in and eat a food they have forbidden themselves or an amount that they feel is too much food.

Often they blame themselves for this feeling they are weak or have no will power and sometimes comforting themselves by eating energy dense food. This may leave them feeling out of control, bad about themselves, and wanting to feel more in control they embark on another diet - and so the cycle continues. This diet cycle can contribute to the development and maintenance of a negative relationship with food. A negative relationship with food results in people feeling out of control, guilty, frustrated and often being above a weight which is healthy for them.

A positive relationship with food involves seeing it as energy and nourishment for the body and at times something for pleasure and celebration. It is about trusting your body's hunger and satiety cues and being able to eat a wide variety of foods in response to different cravings without guilt or compensation. Jo can help you work on building a positive relationship with food and keeping food as one of the many important relationships in your life - but not one which dominates your thinking. Having a non dieting approach to food you will be able to feel and be healthier and have more time for the important things in life.

What about Exercise

Sometimes when we talk about improving our relationship with food it can be interpreted as ignoring nutritional advice. This isn't the case - it is about listening and responding to the body and finding the fragile balance of this with our nutrition knowledge.

Balancing our nutrition and intuition.

The same is important with exercise. Exercise is important for so many reasons - but, just as with food, we can have a negative relationship with exercise which can see it potentially become an enemy.

Often I find that people have a negative relationship with exercise for many different reasons. For some, exercise equals:

A chore
Punishment
Weight loss
Guilt
Pain
Pushing self
Boring
Weight management
Toning
Perfect body

Exercise shouldn't create such negative connotations. If it does then it is difficult to make it a part of a regular routine. Ideally exercise should be as neutral as food is in our lives. Some more neutral ways of looking at exercise would be to see it as:

Movement
Health
General fitness
Cardiovascular health
Strength
Ability
Being in tune with the body
Reaching of personal goals Self improvement
Flexibility
Improved energy
Improved mood

When we expect something to be negative it often is- and it has a lot more to do with our attitude and perspective rather then an ability to predict the future!

To help improve enjoyment of activity it is important to find something you like doing. Some people prefer to be active in groups or socially such as walking with friends, dance or gym classes, sports clubs etc. Others prefer to be active alone but might like to build it in to their everyday life so that the activity has a purpose such as walking to the shops, riding or walking to work.

It is important to try a range of different activities to identify what will be the best suited to you, your personality and life style. Also mix it up and make sure you change your activity around to avoid getting bored or complacent.

Some interesting activity to consider may be:

Dance classes - pole dancing, ball room, jazz, funk, salsa etc
Sporting clubs- netball, cricket, football, basketball, soft ball, swimming, athletics, baseball
Walking club - set one up with your neighbours or friends (it's a great way to get some fresh air, move your body, and catch up on the goss!)
Walk or ride to work, social events or the shops
Plan activity on the weekends such as swimming at the beach, bush walking or hiking

*Note for those working on recovering from an eating disorder exercise is part of your treatment plan and must be discussed with your treatment team. While weight restoring or while working on compulsions, activity may not be indicated - but part of recovery, just like learning to listen to your appetite, is reintroducing exercise in a safe and enjoyable way.

Looking after yourself

So often our relationship with food becomes distorted due to our propensity to use food as a coping strategy. So often food is part of celebrating and comforting; sometimes we try to seek the positive associations we attach to food at other times. While this is an important part of our social lives at times it can create habits that aren't so helpful such as seeking comforting foods when feeling happy or sad or angry etc. For other people the feeling of fullness is comforting and the need to feel safe triggers over -eating.

When we work on improving our relationship with food we need to recognise that we may need something to replace it if we are infact using it as a comfort. Coping strategies are something that each individual develops over time. They help us to sit with negative or positive feelings (which can be hard for some people). They help us to process what has happened and move past it. Coping strategies may be many things- ideally we need to have some which will not be detrimental to our health or well being in any way.

To develop new coping skills the first thing is to identify the unhelpful patterns that are already there. A food and thought diary may be useful for this, identifying times, places, situations or people where food is commonly turned to cope.

Then it is noticing when you have the urges to reach for food and doing something else instead. These can be thought of as distractions. Though they may not be a new coping mechanism they can help people from engaging in un-helpful strategies- engage the mind in something else until the urges decrease. Below is a list created by clients over many years.

Possible Distraction Activities

Distraction involves engaging in an activity that will take your mind off the urges. You may find that you need to engage in more then one activity in order for the urge to pass, or that you need to try a few until you are able to engage fully.

Drawing
Go out with friends
Call a friend to chat
Write a letter email
Puzzles/ crosswords/ suduko
Go to the movies
Watch TV/ DVDs
Go for a drive
Finish a 'to do list'
Bake/cook
Sit in the garden/ park/ beach
Meditate
Play with the animals- pets
Feed the birds
Go to the footy
Plan a holiday
Go to the library
Read a book/ magazine
Write in a journal
Write a short story
Play on the internet
Write a novel
Play computer games
Play cards
Get the train/ tram somewhere new
Call a friend you have lost touch with
Build/ fly a kite
Go bowling
Take yourself or a friend out for coffee
Go to an art gallery or museum
sit in /do garden
Call parents

Pamper yourself - get a massage, have a bath or give yourself a makeover
Plan and organise to see a health professional
Read the newspaper cover to cover
Plan a social occasion
Play a board game
Play on the playground
Hangout with family

Wash:

Dishes
Beds
Clothing
Vacuum
Window wash
Bathrooms

DO:

School work
House work
Re-arrange furniture
Complete paperwork/ forms
Pay the bills
Organise Tax
Make/attend appointments
Dance
Plan and / or make a road trip
Knitting
Table tennis
Art galleries

Vent frustration
Talk about future
Have deep and meaningful talk with a friend
Bubble bath
Get hair done
Yoga*
Get dressed up
Burn candles / incense
Mindfulness CD
Relaxation activities and music
Sit in sun
Watch clouds
Walk in rain/ watch thunderstorms
Bingo
Laughing
Hot shower
ask for a hug
Physical affection
Swim*
Reading
Surfing
Walk dog
listen/ play music
see band/ clubbing
Quality time with family and friends
Call or visit your grand parents
Send random cards
Library
Browse at Office works
Shopping- window shopping
Painting
Call partner Communicate

*Note for those working on recovering from an eating disorder exercise is part of your treatment plan and must be discussed with your treatment team. While weight restoring or while working on compulsions activity may not be indicated - but part of recovery just like learning to listen to your appetite is reintroducing exercise is a safe and enjoyable way.

Taking time to regularly look after yourself:

Everybody has different ways of looking after themselves and it is important that we do this as we as have some specific strategies for stressful times. Looking after ourselves means listening to and responding to our bodies, allowing ourselves enough time to rest, relax and rejuvenate. Some people get into the habit of giving a lot of themselves to others around them who they care for, at the cost of having time for themselves. It is important to remember that if we burnout ourselves we can't give and support our love ones properly. It is important to find the right balance. This can take time and practice but will have many long term positive consequences.

Talk regularly to friends, family or a professional about things that are bothering you
Take time each day to relax with deep breathing exercises, mediation, a bath or turn the phone off and shut the bedroom door for 10 minutes
Plan regular, fun social activities
Have regular set dates with friends in place when you are busy. Build these around practical things like exercise or grocery shopping if finding time is difficult
Take up a new hobby - or do a short course and schedule in time each week to devote to this
Plan mini breaks away from work so there is something to be looking forward to- these may just be one work day or weekend day when you turn the phone off, stay in your PJs and watch movies all day
Swap massages, beauty treatments, or painting nails with friends to help each other feel pampered
Take yourself to the beach or favourite park for a walk or relaxing sit regularly.

Thoughts for August . . .

Weight management- 10 things to think about!

1 There is no quick fix

Permanent weight changes require permanent behaviour and life style change. So allow yourself plenty of time.

2 If it sounds too good to be true - it probably is!

We are constantly bombarded with tempting advertising promising a miracle product to assist with weight loss. If these worked there wouldn't be so many of them! There would be one - and one very successful company behind it!

3 We can't change genetics- be realistic when setting goals

Just like we are born to be a natural height and have a certain hair colour we have a predetermined natural weight and shape which is healthiest for our body. We can work to be as fit and healthy as possible within these limits.

4 Every body is different, what works for one person won't necessarily work for others

Because we all have different genetics and the environment around us influences us all in different ways we can not expect that an exercise or eating plan will have the same impact for us as it does for others.

5 Think about why you're eating - Non hungry eating

We are often so busy trying to decide what is the best choice to eat, that we forget to check if we are actually hungry and need to eat! We eat for a number of different reasons such as boredom, the food is there , the food looks nice, emotions, social pressure, the time on the clock, or to prevent getting hungry latter. Hunger should be the reason the majority of the time we decide to eat but often we create habits based on non- hungry triggers.

6 Think about what you are drinking

There is no particular food or nutrient that causes weight gain or weight loss rather it is about the total amount of energy over a period of time. Some drinks are very energy dense which we can sometimes forget! For example alcohol is very energy dense, not to mention what we mix it with or what we eat on the way home at the end of the night!

7 How are you eating - speed of eating

When we are distracted or busy we often eat with out paying attention to what we are eating, also we tend to eat more quickly. When we do this we don't have time to enjoy and register the foods and don't allow time to notice sensations of satiety, which can take 15-20mins to travel from the stomach up to the brain. If we eat quickly we feel unsatisfied and go back for seconds or thirds and then end up feeling overly full and bloated.

When people take time to eat slowly, notice and enjoy the taste and flavours of the foods they are eating, they are often surprised at how little they require to feel satisfied and no longer hungry.

8 Think about your portions

As we are bombarded with messages about the health risks of being above our healthiest weights we are also bombarded with quick and easy ways to supersize our foods. Convenience and take away foods are often more economical to purchase in larger sizes. We end up eating more of it because it is there or we don't want to waste the food. An easy way of keeping your meals in check is to aim to have half your plate covered with vegetables and salad, a quarter with meat and a quarter with grains and grain products.

9 Activity is important

Having an awareness of the types of foods you eat, how much of them you eat and why you eat them is one thing but it is also important that this is accompanied by some activity each day.

10. Think about long term lifestyle changes rather then short term crash dieting.

As hard as it is to believe when the media is constantly telling us something different , 'diets' don't lead to sustainable changes in weight, they are often expensive and nutritionally unbalanced; increasing long term health risks.

Also, putting yourself on a diet can lead to the diet mentality - thinking of foods as 'good and bad' or feeling deprived - which often leads to over consumption of sometimes food which you are trying to limit!

Thoughts for June

Feeling out of Control with food?

Remember you can always come back to focusing on your eating behaviors:

We sometimes forget to focus on how we eat- which can have a big impact on how much we ultimately eat. Eating quickly or while distracted makes it very hard to notice and stop when you are satisfied instead of then the plate is empty!

When we eat quickly we do not focus on the mouth sensations - flavours and texture, which the foods provide. These are an important part of enjoying the food, but also these sensations contribute to the feeling of satiety we get when we have had enough to eat.

It can take up to 20 minutes for the satiety messages from our stomach to reach our heads and be recognised. If we are eating quickly and not paying attention to the mouth sensations of food we can eat quite a bit in 20minutes! This can lead to significantly extra energy intake and may contribute to weight gain.

When eating is occurring in response to triggers which aren't related to food it can feel very over whelming and impossible to stop - sometimes leading in to binging behaviours. It is important even when binging to try and implement these behaviours which will help you to slow down, think and connect with what is happening and have a chance to make the decision to do something differently.

Some things to try:

� When eating, eat - do nothing else.

� Always eat sitting down at a table to eat.

� Have no distractions other then talking with family and friends or listening to music while you eat. No television, computer or books.

� Always eat off a plate or bowl - no eating out of packets (even when your having a snack - put it on a plate and sit at the table to enjoy eating it).

� Put away leftovers and packets of food before you sit down to eat.

� Practice eating slowly and with awareness. Put your knife and fork down between each mouthful.

� Focus on noticing and enjoying the tastes and texture of the foods you are eating and they way they change as you chew the foods.

� Remember that you can stop when you feel satisfied as you can have this food again, or put the leftovers in the fridge and come back to it next time you are hungry. (Often I find people will over -eat a food which they consider 'bad' as they are promising themselves that will never have it again. This of course leads them to thinking about it and wanting it more! )